Huang Zhexing  

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谢谢你们能来 
Thank you for coming.

很少有机会可以 
Rarely do I have the opportunity

有人愿意聆听 
Where someone is willing to listen

我讲述我创做的初衷 
To me explaining my creative intentions.

我也不习惯 
I'm not used to it,

不常用语言与解释。
I don't often use language and explanations.

但是今天我希望尽我所能 
But today I hope to do my best

去分享一下 
To share a little.

-

/////

让我对死亡有了复杂的见解 
Giving me a complex perspective on death.

某种意义上更大的系统 
In some sense, it was the larger system

以及官僚造成了这一切 
And bureaucracy that caused it all.

在我的印象里
In my impression,

/////

是一个源自于一个更陈旧的价值体系。
It came from an older value system.

之后家人皈依佛学 
Afterwards, my family turned to Buddhism

学会应对这样的意外
 Learning to cope with such accidents.

我也学到了佛学里的死亡哲学 
I also learned Buddhist philosophy of death.

-

长到后读到了 
As I grew older, I read

两本人生中很重要的书。 
Two very important books in my life:

加缪的局外人 
Camus' "The Stranger"

和黑塞的悉达多。
And Hesse's "Siddhartha."

我似乎因此自洽， 
I seemed to find self-consistency through them,

在很多时候选择让自己 
Often choosing to make myself

成为一个漠不关心人
An indifferent person,

一个有点傻的人 
A somewhat foolish person.

这样可以开心 快乐 
This way I could be cheerful and happy.

-

除了家庭 
Besides family,

我也见证了很多同龄人的困顿。
I've also witnessed the struggles of many peers.

大家面对相似的问题， 
Everyone faces similar problems,

必须从酒精和毒品中发泄和暂时遗忘。 
And must release and temporarily forget through alcohol and drugs.

我发现自己何尝不也是这样 
I find that I am no different in this way—

遗忘
Oblivion.

我很多时候对这个世界失望 
Many times I feel disappointed with this world,

感到个体的渺小，
Feeling the smallness of the individual, 

在更大的体系的压迫下的无力感
the helplessness under the oppression of larger systems 

渗透了空间 
permeates the space.

但是我也相信朋克 
But I also believe in punk,

相信自己可以找到自己的话语权 
Believe that I can find my own agency

我也是时常感到生活的热烈
I also frequently feel the intensity of life,

即使这样的机会似乎越来越少了。 
Even though such opportunities seem increasingly rare.

在艺术和音乐中，
In art and music,

我获得了短暂的安宁的凝视。 
I've gained momentary peaceful contemplation.

在材料间只有材料 
Between materials, there are only materials.

-

在新的总统当选的那天
On the day the new president was elected,

我看到一只蓝色的鸟爆尸街头
I saw a blue bird's exploded body on the street, 

却又有些美丽
yet somehow beautiful.

我哀悼一只挚爱的猫咪的离世，
I mourned the passing of a beloved cat,

在如此年轻的年纪 
At such a young age,

死因不明
cause of death unknown,

疑似是人下毒
suspected being poisoned by human beings

尸体被扔进垃圾桶
The body thrown into a garbage can.

她的双胞胎姐妹依旧活着
Her twin sister is still alive.

她似乎明白 又不明白发生了什么
She seems to understand, yet not understand 

我知道她们一直形影不离 
I know they were always inseparable.

她会难过吗 
Will she be sad?

我参加了朋友的葬礼 
I attended a friend's funeral.

我依旧不知道如何面对
 I still don't know how to cop with it,

只能泣不成声 
Can only cry incoherently,

只能感叹星星的美丽 
Can only marvel at the beauty of the stars.

-

我希望拥抱时代的废墟， 
I hope to embrace the debris of the era, 

探索其下孕育的新时代的生命力，人性和群像
aiming to evoke vitality,  humanity, and collectiveness of the time thriving beneath

在悲观的认知下，
In pessimistic cognition

和佛学的观念中，
Buddhist concepts,

我们似乎一直在痛苦。
we seem to be in constant suffering.

我希望不与自己吵闹，
I hope, fewer internal conflicts, 

少些循环的挣扎，
intertwined struggles,

沉重的被动，
heavy passiveness,

灼热的踌躇
burning hesitations

与透支的欢愉。 
and sadness-driven joy.

但是我也见证了关怀 
But I have also witnessed care.

我更希望去创造那些 
I hope more to create more

通过艺术 和艺术实践
through art and artistic practice.

谢谢大家 
Thank you everyone.



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